Andrea grew up very fast, faster than anyone should have to.

This 42-year-old mother of a teenage daughter grew up in a home that revolved around addiction. Her father was an alcoholic who never showed any emotion or vulnerability around his children. He was a stern disciplinarian who could get physically abusive when he drank.

Andrea’s mother had substance abuse issues of her own, having struggled with an addiction to pain killers for much of Andrea’s younger years. She was emotionally remote, and was too preoccupied with her own issues and her own addiction to notice danger signs in her daughter.

Andrea started drinking when she was just 12 years old. She acted out whenever she got the chance, seeing it as a chance to rebel and to separate herself from the unhealthy atmosphere of her home life. This usually meant drinking with kids who were older than her.

This led to her trying marijuana when she was 13. Within a short time she was using so much that her marks in school plunged. When she would go out with friends, she would out drink them because she had no ability to stop once she started.

The alcohol and the pot did for her what she could not do for herself. It made her feel confident and connected to other people. But it was a false connection – all they had in common was booze and drugs. These two substances also helped her to reduce her anxiety level. With pot especially, she could relax and feel calm.

This was her pattern for several years. She lost custody of her daughter when the daughter was eight, and this sent her into a depression that she only addressed with yet more drinking. Her physical health had deteriorated and she could no longer hold a job.

Finally she came to a place of despair that she couldn’t cope with. She had a complete nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized. It was only in the hospital that she was confronted with her alcohol and drug consumption.

She had resisted all previous efforts to get her to consider treatment, but this time she was at her wits end. She had come to realize how much she had lost through drinking and using.

While in the hospital she had the opportunity to detox from her substances. She started eating more regularly and getting rest without pressure of the outside world. Her doctor told her that she should transfer directly into an in-patient treatment centre to begin the recovery process.

Despite her fear of living without the drugs, she agreed to go. The early days were a struggle. She had never learned how to deal with stress of social awkwardness without alcohol. But this was a new start. She came to realize that she would have to challenge everything that had been part of her life.

She made great strides in the weeks after leaving the treatment centre, improving her health with proper diet and rest and even looking for a job.

There was a slip about six months after leaving treatment, but she was lucky. Her relapse only lasted a week. When she stopped again, this time it was for good. It took a few years to repair some of the damage she had done, but she tried her best to do just that. And when her daughter turned 14, she came to live with Andrea.

She didn’t have a perfect life, but she did have hope.

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