When he looked back on it, his time as an active drug addict seemed like a dream.

David was a writer and teacher who once had a sterling reputation. He was reliable, respected, and a symbol of integrity. He enjoyed going out with friends on the weekend, but he never drank to excess. He had occasionally driven after a couple too many beers, but he had been lucky; he was never caught and never had an accident.

David taught at a local high school and wrote freelance articles for several magazines. He was not the most outgoing person, but he had a certain confidence about him.

The thing about him was that he was not very wise in the reality of the streets. One night when he was out with friends, he ended up at a party. He felt a little out of place because most of the people there were younger, but he soon relaxed.

Later on, after many of the guests had left, a young man brought David into a back room and offered him something he would “never forget.” That was the first time he tried crack. But not the last.

It didn’t hook him that first night, but he loved the forbidden aspect of doing this. He had always been conservative in his lifestyle, and he was attracted to the danger of what he was doing.

The two arranged to do this together sometime soon, and he left.

It was a couple of weeks later that the young man called him. He didn’t have money but if David could pay for it, he’d arrange another session. This time David really started to feel the effects. When they were finished, he wanted to get more, but his friend suggested he go home.

It didn’t take more than a couple of months before David was smoking crack weekly. It then went to twice and then three times a week. Getting up for work was very difficult when he had done the drug the night before.

Within six months, David was doing it every day. He started missing work. He stopped writing. He started to isolate himself.

Once he started on a given night, he would keep going until he ran out of money or he had to go to work. People started to notice that something was very wrong.

Within another six months, David had been fired and his true descent was underway. People tried to convince him to get help but he had no interest in doing so. He lost weight, and stopped taking care of himself. He sank into despair.

He hit a bottom when he was thrown out of his apartment for not paying the rent. When someone suggested going to a rehab, he agreed – but only because he’d have a roof over his head for a few weeks.

But once he was there, a glimmer of hope appeared. David was now around recovery 24 hours a day – fellow addicts and people who understood what addicts go through.

He learned about how addiction affects the brain, and this made things easier. He felt less guilty when he realized just how powerful the effect of his drug of choice is on the brain. He learned about how the frontal lobe (which functions as the natural judgment centre – the brain’s “stop sign”) is impaired by cocaine use. Even when he knew he was hurting himself he felt powerless to stop. Now he knew why.

Group therapy sessions at the rehab helped him to feel less alone. The sessions helped him to learn more about himself through the experiences of others.

And as he progressed, his health came back. He put on weight. He felt stronger and more in control of himself once again.

David spent five weeks at an in-patient rehab, and when he left, he felt like himself again. Unfortunately, he wasn’t out of the woods yet. His “using friend” had come to depend on him to finance their drug trips, and he came to David trying to get him to return to the old pattern. David resisted for a couple of weeks, but one day his cravings got the better of him.

This started a relapse that lasted four months. He went down very fast this time, even having serious chest pains when he used. But this time, a friend convinced him to come along to a Cocaine Anonymous meeting.

There he heard a talk that he completely related to. This person had been through a very similar experience and was an addict for about twice as long as David was. Before the meeting had finished, David was in tears – full of regret and pain.

By the time of the meeting came when they give out the newcomer chip, David had decided not to tell anyone he was new. He was too ashamed. But when the question was asked, “Is there anyone here who would like to find a new life?” he stood up.

Before he realized what he was doing, David had reached the front and had taken the chip. He turned to the room and said, “Hi, I’m David and I’m a cocaine addict.”

For the first time in years, he felt that he was not alone. After the meeting, several people came over to him and gave him their phone number. David promised to go to the next meeting; he now knew that this was the only way he could get better.

Within a month, David had asked an older member to sponsor him, and the man had accepted. This gave David someone to call whenever things got difficult – as they often did. But he was determined this time that he would not relapse again. He knew exactly where that would lead him.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites